Transcendent Experiences
Ahyh Asr Ahyh
Debbie, Melissa (her daughter) and I moved into the house. We got married, and I entered the most normal, stable, comforting time of life I've known. Life settled into business, family, and ministry.
We all need humility. Every day I realize I need more of it. But you must know that by the time the early 90s rolled around I had been working with The Name for well over a decade, had mapped it to Christ, the death of self, the Tarot, the World's Religions, and beyond. I experienced myself as living in God. So, my confession is that I thought I really had a handle on things. Yet Dan and Yhwh had 2 more revelations for me, each of which proved at least as significant as Ani Yhwh. This chapter relates the first.
I have related elsewhere my involvement with a local Lutheran Church, and how those events of 1990-1994 lead to inspiring me to finally write down what I had been thinking and teaching for many years. By early 1995 I had rough sketches of many of the documents you will find here:
 | God is Not God's Name |
| The Revealing Science of God |
| The Stations of the Cross |
| In the Garden - The Fall and Redemption of Mankind |
| The Truth About Tarot Cards |
In March of 1995 Dan was going to have a big meeting at his house, with many of the students he had taught over the years. In the course of conversation I mentioned that I had been spending a lot of time writing. Dan said he wanted me to bring 20 copies of everything to the meeting. I told him that a lot of it was in rough draft form, but he didn't care.
So I had them copied, and took them with me to the meeting. And at that meeting Dan mentioned my writings, showed everyone where they were placed on a table for all to take for free. Then he stood up and applauded me in front of the whole group, saying that mine was the type of initiative he was looking for.
Yes, folks, I know we need to keep our eyes on God. Remain humble, and always ready to serve our fellow human. For the record I had not sought this praise; it was freely given to me as a natural response to what I had been naturally doing. And it was the greatest honor, to that point, of my life. I was becoming important in the one circle I valued the most.
But that was not my reward. Nothing so trivial.
Dan read God is Not God's Name and called me a few days later. That document is written entirely from the perspective of "I Am." And Dan said it was wrong!!
Say what??!?
God's Name doesn't mean "I Am." It means "I Will Be." And God's Name isn't YHWH
. It's AHYH ASR AHYH
, pronounced eh-YAH ah-SHER eh-YAH in Hebrew, or EY-ah ASH-er EY-ah with an English accent. It is the first person infinitive of the verb "To Be."
And then he told me the most astounding tale, from the Midrash, the commentary the Hebrew Rabbis have written over the years on the Bible. How, when Moses came down from the Mountain and told the people that the Name Elohim had told him was "I Will Be," the people got very nervous. You can't say that, Moses. We'll let you say "He Will Be." YHWH is derived from the third person singular infinitive of the verb "To Be." He Will Be. All of the "I Am" stuff is a mistranslation centuries after the fact.
And there you have it. God's innermost, revealed Name is Ahyh, I Will Be. (You can find my summation of all this here.)
A quick bit of research (never, ever, believe anything anyone ever tells you, especially when it is important, simply on the strength of their word) proved that Dan was right.
I was exalted. The next days were phenomenal. There was no sense of having been misled, or of any contradictions.
Why hadn't I been told this before? I wasn't ready.
Why now? My diligence and effort with The Name enabled me to be ready for the next step. Perhaps (there's no way to know) if I had never printed those docs and given them to Dan then I never would have gained access to Ahyh Asr Ahyh.
Wasn't this a contradiction? Not at all. It was an amplification of all I already knew. "I Am" was and IS true. Everything in GINGN is perfectly valid. For any given moment of time the truth is "I Am." But that is not the whole story. "I Will Be" is the whole story. Yhwh is the Derivative of God, Ahyh is the Integral(!)
The revelation of Ahyh Asr Ahyh took every thought and every meditation and every experience I had ever had through The Name and took it to the next, much higher level. From static to dynamic, from two dimensional to three, all in one glorious step.
This is from my diary entry for April 23, 1995:
"I have, at 9:55 pm, just received the most all-consuming, highest revelation / comprehension I ever have. It is nothing new, just a crystallization of previous awareness, all united.
The Universe is a fractal equation of the form
In+1 = In * Will
the "I" I will become next (In+1) is the result of my present "I" as I apply (use, exert) my will.
The easiest way to say this is I Will Be What I Will To Be.
This one equation generates the entire universe.
Absolute "I", God, applies absolute Will ("Let there Be..."), creating endlessly. He does so only by applying His Will to Himself. There is nothing else.
The result was I Will Be What I Will Be.
In March of 1996 The Church of Yahweh went online, public to the World-Wide Web. Having computer documents that contained all of my writings made publishing to the Web a remarkably easy process.
In April 1997 Dan anointed my head with oil in a public ceremony naming me as his successor. While certainly an honor, I experience it with a commensurate responsibility to carry on his ministry, bear testimony, move forward, and touch as many as I possibly can.
In December 1998 I completed the paperwork to legally change my name to Ahyh. Many have criticized me, the banking system has real problems with just one name (my name for some institutions is either "Ahyh Ahyh" or "Ahyh None,") some think it is blasphemous, and my own father was so hurt he hasn't spoken to me for a year.
I mean no harm.
But with such grace...so many unspeakably glorious revelations...a life-long series of blessings, It is the best way I know to tangibly show my gratitude.
